a man laying in bed with a blanket.

It's Sunday evening, I'm lying in my bed, listening to an ASMR video and once again thinking about my life and the meaning in it. Actually I should sleep, it's late and I have work tomorrow..... The problem is when I'm alone and it's quiet I start to philosophize, what could I have done differently? Is life generally worth living? Why am I actually writing this? Maybe I'm trying to treat myself with it. Why actually therapize? I am a young and healthy person, the world is open to me! But do I really want this world? Do I want to lead this life? Actually not ... In the past I probably would have said life is great, there is a big and exciting world out there to discover.Actually I love to travel. But today I think why should I put myself through this shitshow? Life is expensive, a lot of work and in the end you die anyway, some sooner and some later. What's the point? Why do almost 8 billion people do this to themselves every day?Just because of the meaning of life, which from a natural point of view is to rep